© 1998 , 2007 Greg Kaiser

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“Original Sin”

      Just as sin is an encumbrance to one's soul, so it is a sin to encumber one's soul by giving power over one's self to another.
      I have lived in isolation much of the past three years. Isolation causes insanity I am told. I don't know. I've had a lot of time to think. I've thought about how I came to be in the state I am in. I thought about how the human species came to be in the state we are in. I'm not particularly happy with either state. But I still enjoy life, especially when isolated from the human part of it.
      Isolation has allowed me to almost perceive myself as free of the power of other humans. At least the influence has been minimized, because the interaction has been minimized. That partial freedom reduces the encumbrance of my soul. It begins to free me from what I have come to see as original sin. To take power over another or to give another power over one's self is original sin. We are not born with original sin. We learn to perpetually commit it in the course of our lives.
      My desire to not commit this sin any longer is a handicap; it's a disability in the world of humanity. I am often seen as not wanting to work or wanting to lead and refusing to follow. Bullshit! I'm not lazy and work hard on my own projects, even though they produce no income. I will follow only one who is doing better at not committing this sin, because I wish to become less, not more, sinful. I can not interact normally with others without increasing my sinfulness.
      The dilemma is to survive without sinning. The only ways I know to survive are dependant on sinful interaction with others. If a sinless way to survive is possible, I still need to sin while I teach it to myself. I accept that condition but place the responsibility on the system, which demands the sin to begin with. That may be a little cynical but not unnecessarily so. It is not hypocritical. It is a practical necessity, as is a good plan, if I am to succeed in freeing my self from sin.
      I don't really expect any help from others, but I would be pleased by it, if there were no sinful strings attached. At least no more sinful than I still am, at the time the help is forthcoming. (I enjoyed teaching this past semester with the exception of the sinful power games. I would do it again but not if it involved more sin than last time. Hopefully it could involve less.)
      What of the world of humanity, if everyone chose to act so? They won't! Though I don't care if they do. I care to have followers no more than I care to follow anyone into sin. I am a threat to no one. This is the way I choose to deal with the expressed and implied threats of the system, to those who will not sin - the same threats we each deal with one way or another every day of our lives.
      If you don't yet understand why I feel this way, don't ask. I have explained all that I intend to explain. I hope at least that you understand that it's not that I fear to play the game. Not playing is the only way we can win. The game is fixed. It is all in the numbers. Original sin works only for the originators.
      Frankly, I don't understand how the rest of you live the way you do and delude yourselves so completely about it. "Life is a bitch", you say, but have you ever really thought about why it has to be that way? And I'm not talking about the canned arguments we've been subjected to. Training is the problem not the solution. Save your conditioned responses for someone who likes a short leash.
      Please don't see this as an invitation to a philosophical discussion. There is nothing I am willing to discuss about it. The sin is the sin and that is all there is to it. If you disagree simply go your sinful way. Enjoy your delusion. Don't insult me with foolish advice. It would simply fuel my righteous anger. Just as I will not be swayed by argument neither will I be intimidated by anything said or done. If argument, threat or entreaty, whatever, should momentarily slip through my defenses, I will swiftly deal with the breech and regain my position. This place I choose to stand and I will not retreat from it.

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Encourage me and help me to continue to survive and write!

Greg Kaiser
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